Mesmerize
by xXxPorNo-GraFFitixXx
Summary: She can't fall in love. Not when the one she loves is ALSO a That's life for Uzumaki Naruto after falling into a cursed spring.
1. Default Chapter

Ehem… this is actually my second fic…I'm a newbie so please don't flame me

Disclaimer: Why do we have disclaimers anyway… only Masashi Kishimoto own NARUTO… so here it goes… inhale…. Exhale…_Narutoisn'tmine_… faints… cries… jumps around like a fool… inhale… inhale… I forgot to exhale

Introduction

"FUCK YOU JIRAIYA!!!" a frustrated 16 year old blonde shouted at the top of her lungs while being carried on the back of a giant frog with a funny looking face painted with red marks.

"You BASTARD!!! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!!!"

The girl continued throwing insults while struggling to free herself from the tight ropes tied around her arms, legs, waist and full breasts though, she knew her actions are futile…

The frog didn't give a damn about her(which drove her mad or let's say… crazy).

The said girl was almost in hysteria and was laughing hysterically whenever she took a glimpse at the two enormous bumps on her chest whenever she attempt to wriggle off… she who was supposedly a he almost cried… but she aint a girl on the first place…

To keep his sanity… Naruto busied himself in pushing Jiraiya's buttons…

"I'll kick your dirty ass once I escape from here! Do you here me!!! I'm gonna make you pay! Pervert! I'm gonna make you swear you were never born! I'm gonna give you an advance taste of hell! I'm gonna-"

"Shut up or the next thing you know is I'm throwing you into a bottomless cliff… got that?" Jiraiya shouted back in an angry tone… practically lost his cool from the severe mental torture…

"I'm thinking so be quiet moron!" Jiraiya continued before Naruto could think of something to throw back…

"This is gonna take forever… since when did you learn how to think… to start with, since when did you have a BRAIN!!!"

"Do you even know the meaning of Shut up, blockhead?!" Jiraiya countered…

"Your head isn't functioning well Naruto… if you have a brain… it must be full of air since the only thing you know is talk nonsense!"

Jiraiya could actually sense blue chakra rising from the girl's body… when he expected the boy to break into an outrage…

Jiraiya heard sobs… he really felt sorry for the both of them… he heard him cry… he felt like saying sorry to her… then…

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Naruto began wailing like a total idiot… which is totally out-of-character since he is in the body of an attractive, blonde, and mature-looking 16 year old… which is… for Jiraiya… a rarity.

Jiraiya's soul almost lept out of his body… if Naruto isn't a girl… he would've thrown him off a waterfall and tell Tsunade that Naruto was caught in an accident… he had no choice… VERY BAD IDEA… first, Tsunade entrusted Naruto to him… and if something like and accident and a tragic death would end his beloved brother's life… Tsunade would kill him and hunt him down if ever he had the chance to escape…

Jiraiya shrieked as he imagined the worst case scenario of him being flipped by Tsunade's powerful fist… but first… he had to deal with HER…

* * *

"Goddamit! You can't tie me like this forever!" Naruto stopped wriggling and was beginning to calm down when he came into realization that escaping from Jiraiya… is a waste of time, energy and saliva…

"Yes I could…" Jiraiya answered back. Naruto's body started to shiver as he could sense a slight grin on the frog's face although he couldn't see it from his view…

Naruto began to panick again… dirty thoughts began conquering his sanity… Jiraiya and her… together… FOREVER…

He almost puked at the idea

……….

………

……..

…….

……

…..

….

…

Naruto was struck dumb while processing the possibilities on his pathetic little mind…

Jiraiya and her with a son and a pet frog….

"Pervert! Get me down!!!! I'd rather dig my own grave than stay with you like this forever!"

"Behave yourself first!"

"You're not my father to begin with… after all the mess you've gotten me into… how do you expect me to respect you at all…"

There was a momentary silence between the two…

"Fine. I'm sorry then." Jiraiya told the blonde with a trace of guilt in his voice.

Naruto suddenly felt ashamed although he knew well, that he actually told the truth… but it was a pity in Jiraiya's case…he must've been too harsh on his words…

"I'm sorry too Jiraiya… if I were a better student… this might not have happened to us…" Naruto said in a sincere manner…

"You're so dramatic Naruto… it's no big deal…" Jiraiya told the girl although Naruto knew it hit him hard…

There was an awkward silence before another could start a conversation…

"So you'll behave then?"

"No I wont…Behave yourself first…You can't even control yourself when there's a nearby bathhouse… and you call yourself one of the Three Legendary Nin of Konoha! You better be the No.1-"

Jiraiya rolled his eyes as naruto narrated…and so blah blah blah…

"Stop sermoning me… I'm years older than you… and besides, you're not my mother to remind me of those things…"

* * *

"Jiraiya-sama…" Naruto murmured in his sexy-no-jutsu voice …

"Hnn? What do you want now?"

"I was just wondering… where are we actually going?"

"This road familiar to you?"

"Yeah… practically the trees look familiar…"

"Can't you remember?"

"Yeah… a bit… I remember the view from here… the river and… that bridge over there…" Naruto raised an eyebrow upon seeing the familiar meeting place…

_'F-U-C-K'_

"Don't tell me we're going to Konoha!!!"

"Yeah… we're going in…"

**_"WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"_**

"The right question is where…" Jiraiya answered in a cool manner…

"But… but…"

"No butts!"

"Noo!!!"

"Stupid brat… Whether you like it or not… we're gonna visit Tsunade…she's the only one we can trust on this kind of matter…"

Please review…

If anyone would want to, please give me some comments for the later chaps and pairings


	2. Arrival!

Disclaimer: Why do we have disclaimers anyway... only Masashi Kishimoto own NARUTO... so here it goes... inhale.... Exhale...Narutoisn'tmine... faints... cries... jumps around like a fool... inhale... inhale... I forgot to exhale

Yahoo!!! 2nd Chap... the lemons are in the 3rd one so please wait till I get there...

It isn't everyday you'll see a giant frog leaping across a busy street in the peaceful city of Konoha...

with a hot blonde tied on its back shouting all sorts of angry insults...

like...

"Bst!!!"

The crowded marketplace stopped their tasks....

Different sorts of people both shocked and amazed came to look...

indecisive whether to run or laugh at the scene...

while some fled for the sake of their dear lives...

and sanity...

The guards, having heard of the news, didn't believe since they thought it was a joke... and...

how on earth would a large frog be able to enter their borders on broad daylight...

Until the people began panicking, thinking it was an attack from outsiders...

A man shouted something like...

"Look! He's abducted a girl!"

Another seconded the motion:

"Get him! The poor girl has been kidnapped by the ugly monster frog!!!"

"Hey! I'm not a girl!!!" naruto shouted back... her teeth gritted and her face flushed in anger

"Admit it... you're a girl!" Jiraiya singsonged... a large grin plastered on his frog face...

"And admit it Jiraiya... you ARE a monster...Naruto snapped back...

Jiraiya could only smirk while fleeing towards the hokage office...

2nd scene:

A giant frog leapt at the door which eventually smashed on the floor with a big BANG!!!

Tsunade looked at the doorway while the clouds of smoke subsided... she raised an eyebrow to see her unexpected guests...

a frog (which greatly resembled Jiraiya) and a familiar-looking blonde... tied aroud its back...

"What's your business?" Tsunade asked sarcastically... although, the stiff feature on her face subsided upon seeing the blue orbs which were fixed on her...

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune waved a hand infront of the woman who was momentarily struck dumb by the familiarity and endearment of the eyes which she greatly admired...

Tsunade rubbed her temples as she was suddenly snapped back to reality...

'This can't be Naruto?' was at the back of her mind...

"Shizune... do I have an appointment with a frog and a girl..."

Shizune immediately looked over her records and was relieved to find none...

Shizune was about to speak but was cut off by a familiar voice...

"Tsunade... it's me Jiraiya!!!"

"Hi Tsunade-baba... didn't recognize me eh? Missed me?!!!"

"Naruto?! Jiraiya?!" Shizune almost fainted...

"Well... well... what have we got here... Naruto? Jiraiya? What have you gotten yourselves into?" Tsunade was practically maintaining her cool disposition since wrinkles weren't of rarity these past few days...

Tsunade crossed her arms and tapped her right feet in a scary manner that made the two shiver...

Not knowing wether to get angry, shocked or just laugh hysterically over the matter... Tsunade remained quiet in a second or less... breathing in and out... before bursting like a tomato...

"A second please..." Tsunade murmured before retreating into the balcony at the back of her office...

The whole office was shook momentarily upon hearing the supposedly Hokage laughing her head off...

Naruto and Jiraiya shrieked... nervous whether Tsunade had probably lost a screw because of the matter...

"Ehem... where was I?" Tsunade finally went back into the room with a perfectly cool composure...

Tsunade removed the tight ropes carefully from around the girl's badly bruised body and kissed her on the forehead... Naruto was a bit embarrassed at the moment and a faint blush was visible on her face...

Tsunade smiled earnestly 'Maybe he's changed in body but I bet he's still the same...' she thought to herself...

"Naruto... you've changed... I expected that when I see you in return... I'll see a well-grown man... but instead... you're a well-built woman... I have a sister then... I can deal with that..."

Naruto's blush became more visible... and made Shizune laugh a lot...

"Is that a compliment or an insult Tsunade-baba..." Naruto looked sheepishly at the older woman

"Hey! Don't call me like that!" Tsunade's passionate look turned to a smirk...

"Explain to me how everything occurred..."

Flashback:

The place was surrounded with mists and anything can be hardly seen...

"Naruto... we're gonna train in Jusenkyo... it's a famous training ground... it's somewhere around..." Jiraiya grabbed a map from one of his pockets...

"that's strange..." Jiraiya murmured quietly to himself

"What's wrong Jiraiya... are we getting lost or what?" Naruto looked suspiciously at Jiraiya

"No... we're here already..." Jiraiya carefully looked around...

The 2 walked a little further when they saw a man wearing a brown uniform...

"Welcome to Jusenkyo... the Land of the Cursed Springs!" he greeted with a smile

"we're here to train..." Jiraiya told the odd looking man...

"There are at least hundreds of springs in Jusenkyo... this place is famous you know... many people come here to train... but some of them were unfortunate because they became cursed after falling in one of the springs... each spring has a tragic story behind it... the person who falls in it..."

"We're not gonna waste time listening on some fairytale of yours..."

"Jiraiya... what if he's telling the truth?" Naruto asked in a serious manner.

"Naruto, get ready to get yourself beaten..." Jiraiya said as he jumped towards one of the bamboo poles...

"Old man... you're the one who's going to get beaten" Naruto shouted back as he jumped towards the pole.

The man in uniform shouted something like "No! It's dangerous in there! Get down!" but Naruto and Jiraiya were so heated up to beat each other...

Naruto advanced towards Jiraiya, aiming to punch him on his face... Jiraiya dodged him easily and Naruto landed safely on one of the poles..."

"Is that all you've got?" Jiraiya said coolly.

Naruto made a variety of hand signs...

The man continued shouting and warning them about 'curses' and 'when you fall'

"Kage Bunshin!"

Naruto's replicates immediately advanced towards Jiraiya...

A blast of air from Jiraiya's hand made all of the other bunshins fling except from Naruto and disappeared into clouds of smoke...

Jiraiya was dumbstruck when he found Naruto appear before his eyes in his sexy-no-jutsu form in one of the poles...

Jiraiya was about to pounce at her when Naruto made hand signs... another bunshin appeared behind him... smacking his head... he was about to fall when he got hold of Naruto's legs (because of his perversity)

Naruto's eyebrows twitched

"Pervert! Get off me! You're disgusting!" Naruto shouted in a girly manner and wiggled his legs to get him off but the pervert sennin won't because he was practically enjoying the moment...

which made Naruto loose his balace and both of them fall towards the spring...

Naruto smacked Jiraiya's head on mid-air making them fall on separate springs...

Naruto... in Naniichuan... the spring of the drowned woman and Jiraiya on the spring of the drowned frog...

* * *

"It's Naruto's fault… we shouldn't have fallen if he was steady…"

"But you cling on my legs! You perverted sennin!!!"

"You look better when you're a girl… you should thank me about that one…"

"Should I thank you for getting me boobs?!" Naruto wailed indignantly…

"Don't worry Naru-chan! I'll buy you a pair of bikini! What do you prefer… a polkadot or…" Jiraiya stopped for a while noting his surroundings…

Jiraiya looked around him… it is 1 old frog against 3 angry girls… or perhaps… an old hag… an ungrateful blonde and a girl… he had 0 chance of winning… he was about to turn back when he sensed their fiery eyes on him… he stopped dead on his tracks… he felt cold… something bad is going to happen…

"Jiraiya?!" Tsunade turned to look at Jiraiya... her eyebrow twitching and a vein almost popping off her head as she raised an arm and smacked jiraiya straight on his head without letting the frog say another word...

The whole room shook because of the impact...

Jiraiya was immediately knocked off and Shizune immediately went to aid the badly injured frog... knowing well his acquaintance with Tsunade is a very complicated yet intimate one...

"Are you okay Jiraiya-sama?" Shizune knelt beside him when she suddenly felt something touching her legs... a cold surge went all over her nerves...

SMACK

Scene 2: Tsunade's room

"Strip... NOW!!!" Tsunade ran after a terrified Naruto

"I'll never wear those... those... whatever you call that stuff..." Naruto pointed to the bra Tsunade was holding...not daring to even look at the white lacy object...

"You should moron!!!"

"Why should I? I'm a boy!" Naruto countered...

"Look at yourself in the mirror missy! You're a girl!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Do it or I will remove your rites as a ninja!"

Naruto had no choice but to accept his fate... he'll sacrifice anything... his life... and his manhood for the sake of his dreams...

Tsunade grinned evilly to herself... being hokage is fun after all...

Scene 3:

"The water's cold!!!" Naruto shouted

"The heater's broken again? I'll ask somebody to take care of it later..."

Tsunade finally convinced Naruto to wear girly stuff after taking a shower which took about an hour or less... and a lot of patience of course....

Tsunade, being a beauty expert definitely made her look like an image model rather than a ninja...

Naruto's long flowing blonde hair was tied in two bundles of pigtail... her skin... far from its male counterpart was a lot fairer when compared with other girls...

and a lot well-toned too... Tsunade was surprised that Naruto's breasts were somewhat well-proportioned to her slim and well-maintained figure...

and it was envious...

it was a sight to behold...

the hardest part of this is deciding how to dress her...

Tsunade decided to borrow some stuff from Shizune... and it wasn't hard to find... since Naruto didn't need a fanciful clothing to fit her looks... and it was bad to attract attention from the male population since Naruto is an attractive blonde with all the good features... and Naruto isn't a girl in the first place... She is actually a He...

Tsunade got hold of a red kimono and cut off the sleeves and a portion of the long skirts and turned it almost into a mini skirt...and cut the sides to make it easier to move...

Tsunade managed to bandage Naruto around the breast down to the waist... even if the blonde found it rather itchy and uncomfortable...

Tsunade tied a black cloth around the blonde's waist which made her thin waist look visible...

She didn't bother bandage the perfect legs since she found it pretty and hot...

She made her even wear a pair of high heeled sandals from one of the closet which were for unused items... since Tsunade and Shizune were a pair of Fashion junkies...

She made her wear a pink laced panty to match her rather feminine form...

"Oops... my mistake" she giggled reminding herself after being carried away... though... she considered... it's fun dressing up her little sister so... Naruto must dress a bit like her...

Scene 4:

Tsunade nodded her head after seeing her "masterpiece"...

Jiraiya was dumbfounded and was about to ask the girl for a proposal when he realized to himself that it was the boy Naruto hiding behind the full body of a hot blonde...

it's pretty deceiving and tempting at the same time...

"Nobody must know she is actually Naruto... got it?" Tsunade finally spoke up...

"But why not?" Jiraiya questioned

"Because Naruto is a boy and "she" isn't Naruto... got it? Everybody thinks Naruto is a boy...so until I find a solution... you won't be able to tell anyone..."

Tsunade looked at naruto who was silent all the while...

"Yeah... Okay... so what now?" Naruto blushed as she saw their eyes on her... practically surveying her...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Naruto, my folks… unfortunately isn't mine…sighs dejectedly so is Ranma.

_SpiritsFlame_: So, Naruto somwhow got stuck in his Sexy-No-Jutsu form, right? this isn't another Naruto is really a girl pretending to be a girl fics right? Not that I would mind if it is I just thought I'd ask spaz spaz spaz I hope I'm not offending you in any way. Gomen bow gomen bow repeadly while apoligizing. Hits head on wall ow...gomen if I offendid you, i was just asking

_Authoress_: Good question…Nope, this isn't Naruto pretending to be a girl fic… Naruto IS a girl in this fic…

_Shina-lim_: bastard took you so long to update this fic. update it sooner than later because i thought you made it a one shot bastard. please update sooner this time.

_Me(Authoress)_: I appreciate you for calling me a **bastard**… it really inspired me to continue this fic… sorry if I'm a sadistic jerk for making you wait…

A/N: This fic is a sort of Ranma cross-over with a twist… some details from the Ranma anime-manga whatever is different from the one in this fic… and I want to apologize for my poor attempt at humor… and this is a filler chapter… but I hope you still enjoy reading it and comment… I really tried hard to improve my writing… so I hope you write some constructive criticisms… if you prefer the previous style I'll use it for my next chapter… which is a surprise…

**Mesmerize**

Naruto had realized that it was a big mistake going to Tsunade's office for help… Why, you ask?

Tsunade had acted like a real hag of a witch.

Okay, she's a hag (though she may not look like it)… and a witch (because wicked old women who could maintain their youth through dark magic/drinking potion/doing weird stuff etc. are called witches) - even before all of this... this catastrophic, wicked, heinous, immoral phenomenon transpired! Gah- where did all those complicated words come from!

Well, it's not that catastrophic... at least he-she turned out to be a pretty girl and not an ugly frog like Jiraiya

(well at least Jiraiya is a MALE frog and not a female… but an ugly one still- but being a FEMALE for the rest of your life and being pretty is not better than Jiraiya's situation) Naruto pondered… okay, so does that mean that he'd rather be pretty than being a guy? Well… at least he's still human…

Okay, so Jiraiya's wrong about the 'you-should-be-thankful-being-a-girl' part… because there's nothing to be thankful about when your gender had been altered against your will… It isn't completely 'that' bad, Naruto would admit to him-herself...

"Look at the bright side of life…" – had been one of Naruto's favorite mottos… well, at least he didn't turn out to be ugly AND female…

Hell, if he didn't whack Jiraiya (the nerve of the pervert calling himself one of the legendary sannin!) at the last minute, Naruto would've been a frog- any person in his right mind whether it's a boy or a girl would do the same in that kind of situation… who wants to be molested by a drooling man who is in his sixties with the maturity of a horny teenager?

And back to Tsunade who is somewhat acting quite bizarre…

She's ten times crazier than her normal self... or so, she'd been acting like crazy ever since Naru-chan had arrived… and it seems as though she'd prefer a little sister than a brother since she never had one before… she's even role playing as a big sis giving her younger, tomboyish sibling a make-over session…

It wouldn't have to be twice as tormenting and embarrassing if Naruto IS a tomboy… she's still a guy at mind, heart and soul body?- nah and letting the old hag dress her as a girl would be accepting her fate to be lady-like for as long as she is in that form.

And lady-LIKE would sound ridiculous in Naruto's vocabulary.

Naruto had been accustomed to Tsunade scaring the hell out of him when she threatens to whoop the hell out of him but… weird things had been going on… Tsunade being out-of-character is one of it… and Tsunade being nice of all things frightens Naruto even more.

Naruto doubted that Tsunade would even bother to try to find a solution… since it seems that she's enjoying herself torturing the blonde doing all sorts of girly stuff to 'him'… or her… whatever! Naruto's a goddamn boy… okay, so he-she (WTF!) is stuck in the form of a girl… and this is cross-dressing damnit! Maybe not exactly for the rest of the world to see… but for one Uzumaki Naruto (who is REALLY a boy mentally, emotionally, spiritually? - thank you very much but not physically temporarily- which he's not so sure about) … it's cross-dressing! And cross-dressing for a guy is a sham! Shattering his-her ego into winsy-tinsy bits of pieces…

Although naruto had been doing the sexy-no-jutsu to make the geezers nosebleed… this is a different issue because he could be stuck in that form for the rest of his miserable life… at least when he's in the sexy-no-jutsu it's just an illusion… but those boobs are real… they even **felt **real… because that's what they are… REAL breasts…

**Naruto is tough and manly.**

He won't let a woman take control of his life- no, not at all…

He could pretend like nothing happened- act like his normal self (A sloppy, outgoing guy and not a demure and reserved girly-girl). He didn't need to act- or dress like one just because his body is that of a female's…

But women do have intimidating powers over men **_(Hell yeah!)_**

They are mysterious creatures who could manipulate the toughest and 'manliest-of-all-men'.

Yep, especially if that woman could punch a hole through walls… and stomachs (gross)…

If that woman could send a hundred ton giant frog flying in the air without wings…

If that woman has the power over the most powerful nation- Konoha- because she's hokage…

And to make this short… if that woman we're talking about is Tsunade herself…

"How the hell do you take this- this thing off!" Naruto shrieked in that ear-splitting shriek of a damsel in distress… yes, naruto is a damsel… and she is in distress… and that's all because she is desperate and she couldn't unhook the stupid thing and pull herself free from its evil clutches... Naruto thrashed about the room, trying to pull the garters off but to no avail, 'the thing' refused to be taken off… He thought that being a girl would have been more **bearable** if he turned out flat-chested instead of a busty one. And he also thought that he could just whine himself out of this embarrassing predicament. And whine he did.

"Oh! But those look perfect on you! What's the matter?" Tsunade had asked quite innocently Naruto doubted if there was some evil scheme behind it… Tsunade isn't the kind of person who could hold her anger back- verbally or even physically- she had demonstrated it during numerous situations between her and Jiraiya… and normally… Tsunade would suddenly burst out with anger or just throw a fist at his face and send him flying out to the sky with a new hole in the wall of her office…

"You're asking me what the hell is the fucking matter!" Naruto couldn't believe Tsunade is okay with this… this kind of degradation… and is even ecstatic about it… "Just- just look at me!"

"You look sooooo kawaii!" She squealed in a fan-girlish sort of way, throwing her arms around the blonde and squeezing the teen between her breasts but the blonde had pulled away before his ribs crack from her deadly strength…

"Okay, where the hell is the REAL Tsunade…" Naruto got his kunai… definitely, this woman isn't Tsunde… no, it can't be HER. Some stupid enemy spy must have been disguising as her since Naruto arrived and is stupid enough to be nice and patient… because Tsunade isn't either of the two…

"Just joking Naruto… but I honestly don't see anything wrong with it… it fits you fine… you're just being a drama queen…" The woman sat on the hokage chair and smiled wryly.

Now is the time to execute plan no. 1:

Naruto oh-so-suddenly dramatically falls to his knees, clutching his- ehem- her chest painfully… "I can't breathe! I'm suffocating!" His act would have convinced Tsunade if it wasn't exaggeratingly comical with the blonde lying on the floor on his stomach, his arm outstretched as if pleading with puppy eyes, while Tsunde just watched the blonde amusedly with an unconvinced eyebrow raised in question and arms crossed… implying that she won't fall for such lame performance… she wasn't a doctor for nothing…

"Stop. It's no use… you look like someone suffering from indigestion… and you're dirtying your beautiful clothes! I specially picked those out for you to wear!" Tsunade had been faced with many difficult leaders from other nations… and was able to talk things over with them… and she's been wondering why of all people… the blonde wouldn't give in to her demands… she doesn't really understand why the blonde couldn't appreciate the beauty he'd been blessed and just be satisfied… Tsunade had finally decided that she's gonna play his game by not giving in to his demands …

Naruto had realized that Tsunade won't budge by using his cunning act… Drastic situations call for drastic measures… now, for the second plan…

"**Waaaaaah**! I hate you! Why are you so cruel- **waaaaaah**! blah** waaah**! blahblah **waaaaah!**" Tsunade could perfectly hear the emphasized 'waah's' in Naruto's persistent bawling…

"Get off the floor… " Tsunade said rather coolly. She wonder if the blonde had some psychological disorder she didn't know about… what could be the other explanation how the blonde could shift into different moods in a span of a single minute…

"No! I'll stay here unless you agree to take this off me! " The rebellious blonde insistently replied, now laying his face on the floor… using his chakra to make his body stick to it like glue even if the woman try to pull him away from it…

"Get off there this instant or…" The hokage's eyes had narrowed into slits, cracking her knuckles.

"Or what?" The blonde, determined to act as stubborn as possible won't be threatened by Tsunade's warning… okay, so maybe she's really scary and freakingly strong… he'd be ready for any attack by now but…

What he didn't really expect was…

"Stop it! Haha! Stop! Hahahahahahahah! I can't breathe! Hahahahaha! Tsunade-baba! Hahahah! Seriously- hahaha- let go! Hahahah!" The ticklish blonde was teary-eyed, hyperventilating and rolling from the floor to escape the merciless woman's wrath… he finally gave up and detached himself…

"Look- gasp- I'm-gasp-serious-gasp-" Naruto was heaving, still feeling uncomfortably irritated wearing the lacy, un-manly sort of thing….

"How could a ninja like me move efficiently wearing this distracting garment! Did you put a stupid jutsu so I won't be able to break off from this thing!" Naruto eyed Tsunade warily- finally settling down after losing the struggle.

"Baka, I didn't… and that thing is called a bra… and, do you want your breasts to become saggy?" Tsunade had said with an exasperated sigh, the hyper-active blonde had knocked some furnitures at her office.

"Do you mean like yours?" Naruto's question was left hanging in the air, a stiff silence lingering in the room.

"I didn't have your breasts when I was your age…" Tsunade admitted nonchalantly.

"Gah! Don't tell me you had surgery!" Naruto had always been suspicious about Tsunade's boobs… but had no way to confirm those suspicions…

"Of course not! These are genuine breasts!" Tsunade yelled defensively.

"It's too tight and I can't breathe… don't you understand that this thing is smothering me? How do you expect me to move properly because of this stupid thing…"

"It's only like that at first… you'll get used to it somehow…" Tsunde said in a tone she hoped would console the problematic blonde.

"Get used to it!" Naruto had flared up once again. And just when Tsunde thought the blonde would finally shut up… So much for being sympathetic…

"Oh, brother… here we go again…"she murmured under her breath… readying her ears for the possible damage the blonde's piercing voice could inflict…

"A-Are you telling me that I have to endure wearing this for quite some time!" Naruto flailed his arms incredulously, bouncing around the room panicky- knocking the few furnitures which remained standing after his previous thrashing.

"Calm down! You're demolishing the entire room!" The hokage said in the loud, booming voice that could scare the shit out of any anbu captain- unfortunately, it doesn't work the same for the blonde who is too preoccupied imagining his life as a girl…

"What shall I do! What shall I do!" Naruto chanted aloud (imagine Courage the Cowardly Dog).

"Why don't you buy something comfortable to wear? That's Shizune's you're borrowing… you should buy your own… I guess her size is smaller than yours which is why you're suffocating…" Tsunade finished with a nod.

"Hey! My boobs aren't small!" Shizune yelled out-of-nowhere, teary-eyed.

"Hehe… that's not what I meant… I'm just saying that Naruto's built is better than yours… Didn't help, sorry 'bout that Shizune…" Tsunade sweat-dropped at her poor attempt to rephrase her sentence to make it sound less offending.

"So, you're telling me that?" Naruto felt that something bad is about to happen... is this what women called intuition!

"That you should go to the lingerie shop and learn to buy the appropriate clothes by yourself…" The woman smiled innocently.

"What?" The blonde's eyes were as wide as saucers and she hoped she heard it all wrong…

"You heard what I said… you should go shopping to the lingerie store to buy your own under garments… you know, it isn't appropriate if we're just going to lend you ours…" The smile had turned into an evil smirk, making Naruto shudder…

"Lingerie… shop?" Naruto gulped.

"You heard it right…"She confirmed, the sadistic, menacing edge in her voice forewarning the blonde of the impending doom… but Naruto won't let this… this manipulating creature control him just like that… he's going to deal with her as a real man would when confronted with such devious, mysterious being…

"Over my dead body!" Naruto pouted in that stubborn and childish way of his… even the patient and kind-hearted Iruka turns into a blood-thirsty monster when he does that…

"You're just saying that 'coz you're a coward… " Well- that wasn't the kind of reaction Naruto had expected…

"Uzumaki Naruto, the strongest of Konoha's ninjas… defending Konoha country from S-class criminals… entering enemy-territory without hesitation can't even enter a girl's shop to pay for a piece of garment! " Tsunade laughed mockingly.

Naruto glared- wanting to burn a hole through Tsunade's skull.

"Is that a dare?" Naruto said audaciously.

"Hn, I bet you can't do it… not in a million years!" The woman gave a dismissive half-laugh, raising a fine eyebrow.

"I'll do it… but…" Naruto wasn't about to back out from this challenge… no matter how ingenuous or foolish it may sound like to prove yourself by entering a lingerie shop- a place no real man would dare set foot at…

"But?" The woman's ears perked up at the urgency at the blonde's tone…

"Can you lend me some money?" Naruto grinned, scratching the back of his head with an apologetic laugh… stretching his hand at the woman who suddenly falls from her seat anime-style.

Arigato for all those who commented!


	4. SaSuKe

Woah. I'm still alive! Surprised? Haha. It's not that I have the time to update this story… it's just that inspiration can't be summoned upon will. At a certain point, I did consider discontinuing this fic.

But thanks to your reviews the conscience, (regarding the continuation of this fic) which I buried to the farthest recesses of my mind FINALLY bounced back to life. I have to admit that I do have an issue with inferiority complex, especially when I read the work of other authors, I feel like I want to shrink or combust simultaneously because my _crap_ can't compare to their _craft_ of _art_. Aside from that, I'm a sadist. So please bear with me.

Enough with the drama.

Brace yourselves for (another) poor attempt at humor… by none other than ME! Please feel free to throw (blunt) knives towards ME in your imagination (only).

This chapter is dedicated to our beloved Sasuke-kun! Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 3

Mesmerize

SaSuKe

* * *

For Uchiha Sasuke, there many things that this world could live without. 

For example… a traitorous, rebellious, psychotic brother who'd slaughter your clan and leave you mentally scarred for the rest of your miserable life.

Okay, so that wasn't that many. At all.

Actually, Itachi **was** everything he hated about this world. That is, until he reached the age where girls began to claw at him like hungry vultures.

HIS (poor) attempt to be low profile proved to be ineffective. He was cold and distant to everyone. (MEAN) He silently brood, even when everybody was already laughing his or her guts out. (WEIRD) He death glared at the girls who attempt to flirt with him. (LETHAL)

He wanted to scare the living hell out of them!!!

But in a sick twisted way, the female population have a reversed psychology.

And his elaborate plan to be hated by everyone back fired towards him.

He unintentionally attract them instead of repel them.

"Sasukeeeeeeeee-kun!"

Confronting the two girls is in a degree, more migraine inspiring than plotting several plans to track and kill his so-called brother.

Exaggerated?

Nope.

In the same pitch as a supersonic jet, Ino and Sakura simultaneously scream his bloody name and invaded his personal space by latching on each of his arm. They probably have tentacles, something that glued them to his body as though they are additional limbs.

Disturbing?

Yes.

Very. Much.

There he was, believing that Konoha is already safe and peaceful without the threat of invasion from foreign lands.

"Let go." Sasuke paused in his tracks, his face taut in his attempt to feign stoicism. He actually wanted to become a crazed lunatic for a short period of time to have an excuse for murdering the two girls. But that would be following Itachi's foot steps.

Except, Itachi IS a crazed lunatic. He's nowhere near being insane enough to actually pull out the kunai he could conveniently have access to in times of threat and cut the throat where the horrid screeches of his name comes from.

"Where are you going Sasuke-kun? I could keep you company there." Sakura cooed. Her voice sugary matched with the batting of eyelashes.

They're not even listening.

"Let's eat lunch! My treat!" Ino offered.

"Damn Ino! That's not fair! Don't bribe him into going out to date with you!"

"Hmph! Whatever. You know- everything's fair in love and war!"

The two proceeded to bicker in the middle of the street. They unconsciously let their hands slip off the Uchiha's numbed arm to strangle each other's throat.

I wish they'd strangle each other hard enough they won't be able to talk anytime soon… 

Sasuke SINCERELY wished.

* * *

Sasuke's feet have a mind of its own. 

Walking a very familiar direction.

Even with his eyes blindfolded, his feet would simply lead him there.

Maybe it's become a ritual for him who made it a point to visit the place every chance he got. Usually, it is after every mission. Just like when _he_ used to sit next to him.

But this morning, he ran out of supplies to concoct something decent enough to eat.

Even ramen is more decent than whatever food he has on mind.

Ichiraku's…

After their team's (successful) missions they'd automatically go there to celebrate. That was in the past.

It is nowhere near the vicinity of his mansion… yet he could smell its scent lingering in his apartment as though summoning him to come there.

He's going crazy.

And it's because of _him_.

What he hates the most….

is the feeling of missing a particular someone.

* * *

It's funny.

How everything seems to flash back into his memory. How today seemed like one of those yesterdays.

He felt like he's back to being a 12 year old.

Steam emits from the interior of the tiny booth

He inhaled the familiar scent of Ichiraku's…

Just like _his_ warm breath…

Sasuke thought inwardly.

He exhaled.

"Naruto."

The name slipped past his lips.

* * *

Somewhere in Konoha… 

"ACHOOOOOOO!" Naruto sneezed against the lingerie she was currently examining. She sniffed. The sales lady gave her a disapproving look.

It's must've been because of the fact that her flesh was too exposed that she's going to catch a cold anytime soon.

She decided to purchase the damn thing since it would be embarrassing and unethical to not do so after transferring her bacteria to the piece of clothing.

Red and black.

_Sasuke's favorite colors..._

Naruto shivered.

It's just probably the airconditioning in the damned store.

* * *

Disappointed? I hope not. Please review and feel free to shower me with criticisms. Hahahaha. 


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